Thursday, March 26, 2009

I am...up





I am not a housewife. I am not my body, nor my feelings. I am not my thoughts nor anyone else's thoughts of me. So all of this stuff can be acknowledged and left, because it is nothing. O.M.G! What the hell have I been reading about now?

I have been awake since 3am, and out of bed since 4am. In my dream an orca was chasing me through a wooden, two story house with lots of weird little rooms. The orca was huge and clumsy and was fine with out the water. It actually made it's way up stairs, through doorways with the explicit task of eating me. It trapped me in a small room, and I woke up as I was trying to open the window to jump.

What the hell sort of dream was that?

I have a goal of getting out of bed by 5am, to read, think, meditate, and/or run. I want to start my days earlier to get the most out of them. So this morning I guess was a success. It is 5.22 and voila! Here I am.

We walked to Booboo's for dinner last night-that woman is a brilliant cook. She made mostly vegan/vegetarian stuff and warned me before hand that I had..."better not have eaten all day", because she had made all this food for me. I did her proud, I over-ate. We turned the lights out, candles lit, for earth hour and the kids went crazy, all nine of them. They started dancing and yelling and jumping. Boo boo's house turned into a night club. They eventually left the living area, and played scary games in the darkness of the hall way and bedrooms. The noise got so bad, we let them watch a dvd for the last half hour of earth hour. (T.v is normally banned, so thanks, 'earth hour').

We walked home by about ten pm, the kids screeching and rollicking in the dark. I mentioned to Deane that kids are so much like vampires -at their optimal with darkness.
I have been glum this week. Reason: there is so much I want to do, my frustration levels are rising. To do anything, it seems I need to organise at least, 6 other people. The only thing it is easy to do,is clean the house an make food. I don't have to organise a babysitter, or check if its in the right 'time frame' for that. Blah humbug.

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