Thursday, February 26, 2009

Gratefulness....and jealousy.


God! (ess) It has been an age since I last blogged. I am sipping a beetroot, carrot and spinach juice (with a hint of garlic) while I write (finally). What has been happening huh? There is this: http://catherinedrew.wordpress.com/ , and the following:
Well, as per my 'good Mother' theme, Izzy has begun tap dancing. I drop her off and...wait... in the car. Which is a good time to catch up on my reading...I am very grateful for the time to read. (Yep...Among the books I'm reading, is one on being grateful etc..)

I collect Paloma on Thursdays from kindergarten along with a wee friend of hers. The little friend does gymnastics after kindy so I thought Paloma may as well start with her. I take both of them and they bounce around for a while. I watch...(I'm grateful I have eyes...)

Drew has begun jazz dance. I'm grateful I do not have to drive her there, she catches a bus. (I do have to pick her up though.)
Gosh! Did I tell you that Deane is slowly working the digger down to the space the studio will occupy! I think he realised it would take..like..forever (American accent), if I were to continue excavating with my pick axe. So he is going to try to get his digger down the steep bank to the studio space. I am eternally grateful...
One book I am reading at the moment is 'Blink' (the power of thinking without thinking by Malcolm Gladwell). It has made me think (haha...without really thinking) how, when I do judge people, (which I judge myself harshly for...judging them...hmmmm) that I am probably right. According
to Blink, you can judge a book by it's cover. Therefore, I have been trying not to ignore my instinctive feeling about individuals, and have been looking more closely to the kids, sort of like listening in the spaces...listening to what they are really saying, when they are whinging and arguing with me, or each other. For example, when Izzy is screeching that she does...."not want Paloma at my birthday party...and if Paloma does come to my birthday, she, Paloma will certainly not be allowed my birthday food..." (true story-happened today); I have to listen to what the kid is not screeching..i.e the space's. And what the space's are telling me in this instance is that Izzy is fudging jealous of Paloma and cannot work out her own het up, confused, tangled emotions with regards to her little interloper sister. Further, we all know, that the basis of all negative emotion is fear. So, if i reduce Izzy' s large, confused angry outpouring's regarding Paloma eating her birthday food, (or not as the case may be), Izzy is fearful of not getting as much love/attention as Paloma on, especially her birthday. I am a genius. And I also feel for the kid. She was the youngest,spoilt baby for three whole years and then, bam! Along comes Paloma and ruins it all. Izzy has never gotten over it. Here is yet another true story...When Paloma was only a few weeks old, I was breast feeding her while Izzy the three year old, sat at the bench eating toast. It was quite peaceful, or so I thought, but little Izzy was jealously fuming. She piped up in her cute baby voice..." I want to kule yooo.."
Me: " what? you want to kiss (hopefully said) me?"
Izzy: "..no..I want to kule yoouuu..wiv a ife...."
The child also wanted to 'kule' (kill) the baby and eat her...with the same knife I suspect.
The other kids never had a problem with any younger sibling. I am thinking it is because the three year gap was the longest, the other three were only at the most eighteen months apart...too young for jealousy. I digress.
Oh yeah..food is a major thing for Izzy. Life and love is all about food. Gotta love it. She used to hum while she ate.


2 comments:

  1. love it....will make sure I give Izzy the most attention EVA on her birthday!!!Aunty J

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