Tuesday, September 30, 2008

unhappily cleaning the toilet, school holidays

School holidays are here, along with the rain. Yesterday, the kids were watching t.v, on the playstation while I was cleaning the house, in so much as it allows itself to be cleaned...it seems to drop items off bookshelves, return odd bits and pieces to place's whence recently 'cleaned' from. The house wets its floors and smears god-knows-what in weird places. The house likes to scruff it up a bit. I, on the other hand, am the cleaner. And it makes me mad. I put things in their right places, five minutes (give or take) the 'things' are back like I have never moved them. I wont mention the toilets. Okay...I will. Why is it that cleaning the toilet is like the green flag for everyone in the house to line up to take a dump in it? Try it at your house...go on. Clean the toilet beautifully and wait. Pretty soon you will have strangers banging on the door asking to use it.

Anyhow...I was cleaning up, a hopeless tedious sort of work, so I wasnt in the best of moods. I told the kids that they must clean their bedrooms before they spent anymore time in front of the t.v or computer, or playstation. They all turned sour. Like adding lemon to cream. It was a swift change. They did the passive aggressive thing, the outright angry thing and I was the cause of all of their unhappiness's. Paloma was fine. She played with the olive oil and discovered how to switch the tap so as to let the oil drip...drip...drip. (I discovered this about three hours after her discovery.)

The kids were so 'unpleasant', I tucked Paloma into her wee bed for her nap, grabbed my bag and left. All I heard as I was scarpering was a startled chourus of, "where are you going?"etc.

I went to the aptly named Salvation (our local cafe) and had a soy chai latte, read the paper and gathered myself.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Vodka, celebrants and middle class authenticity!

We met our celebrant last night. She arrived at the front door, huffing and puffing, remarking about the steps up (as people do...). I poured her a vanilla vodka, she drank it as we talked. We are 'cutting it fine' but we are nearly sorted as far as the wedding organisation goes. By the time the celebrant left her face was flushed and she was a bit unsteady on her feet. Straight-up vodka will do that I guess.

After a good running week last week, I haven't run at all this week. Apparently it is unwise to run for a week after a chemical face peel ( http://cenglish-memento.wordpress.com/ ) because, they said, the sweat forming under the layer of dead skin can cause an infection. Barbaric huh!

Not being able to run, or work up a sweat in anyway is the worst aspect of having my face peeled.

I have not been very successful at eating raw this week. I have been having fruit salad for breakfast (with coffee). Twice this week, for lunch I have been to Maranui cafe and had salad. Yesterday the salad was wonderful - Puy lentils with walnut and fresh herbs. However, most of the maranui salads are cooked and the one that is not has feta in it. I still believe Maranui and Deluxe cafe make the best cafe food in Wellington by far.

I did a ten minute meditation this morning. This is good as I have not meditated for around three weeks.

One of my goals for this week is to be authentic, that is, to trust my intuition. I will do what feels is the right thing for me to do. I have made a decision to be myself and not cave to the heavy hand of middle class western socialization. Hows that!? (I am so white and middle class - a stay at home mother to boot. I find it ironic - I am also planning my wedding. I, however, have the degree in 'women's studies'. So I know where I am 'placed' in life. Ha!)

Thursday, September 18, 2008

five runs down and its only thursday...

(Sailing for a three year old...)

Five runs!..and its only Thursday! That's my total since Monday. I did two runs on Monday and am planning for a second run today. I was pounding the pavement at 5.40 this morning. The birdsong was so amazing I didn't take my ipod with me. That time of the morning is pretty special-its all new, fresh and holds promise. I got home, the family still silent. I stood beside Deanes sleeping body and tapped his arm and yelled, "tag!". I told him it was his turn to go for a run. (I had informed him that I would be getting him up for a run after I had returned from mine, the evening before - I don't think he took me seriously.)

I had a wonderful juice last night. I juiced organic carrot, beetroot, garlic, apple and kale. Feels so good and I think the juice maybe off setting the coffee. I had four coffees yesterday-not good but could be worse. Obviously.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Attracting Boat hulls...the perfect nano second...

It was good, arriving home from our Christchurch 'boat' holiday.

We undertook the long journey to Christchurch because my love had bought yet another boat (a 55ft steel hull actually..that's it..a hull.). He needed to measure it up to start figuring out how to begin the ten years of building it will take to complete the thing.

I do not like boats yet they seem to be taking up more and more space in my life. Is it because I spend mind time disliking them so they manifest around me?

I accept that boats will be in my life - I just want time/space for me - too. I've read that... 'the more you can control your attention the more you attract only the things in your life that you really want'.

Does that mean I really want my life to consist of cleaning a house, a never-ending laundry pile, organising children, and all the little things that by themselves take up barely anytime but together take a life time! What is it I 'attend' to in my life that I am attracting...well, that is pretty obvious...with five children - this is the way it is at the moment. (However I do wonder if my life should be so enveloped by everybody else...)

Anyway, our arrival home was a beginning. I found it very difficult to continue raw food, running, meditating while on holiday, so it was with renewed even desperate focus I was to 'begin' living again.

The parts of my life I can do are running, eating well, and reading, (... reading in 'sound bites'). On Monday morning I woke early and ran out into the dawning day -beautiful!. I ran for thirty minutes feeling okay. After the kids had gone to school, Paloma and I headed to the gym and creche. I had a satisfactory weights workout, leg tingling so.

The afternoon went as afternoons do and then I took Drew to my singing lesson which it turns out wasn't on. This gave me time to do a small supermarket shop and once home, I went for my second run of the day at about 8.15pm.

The favourite part of my run was the perfect nano second. It was, as I rounded a bend... here it is..the perfect moment...the moon brightly reflected off the rippling sea on my left, while Dido played on my ipod. She sang out with the lyric..."its not so bad.." just at the point I was running the bend. (Dido Thank you No Angel) Yes, I know, Dido is surprisingly good to run with. Especially at night - you should try it.