Thursday, July 10, 2008

scowling again

..that's me..scowling. I woke peacefully being school holidays an' all! I barefooted it into the kitchen to put the kettle on for the first bliss'd coffee. ..And there it was.
The much maligned space wasting-peace guzzling treadmill was fighting for space along with an overfull basket of washing, a tricycle, a vacuum cleaner and two dolls, in my so called studio- my work area. I flashed anger-scowled to myself and made a pot of coffee (multitaskingly making three different breakfasts for three little girls).
I scowled myself back to bed and picked up my book-'How to see Yourself as you really are' by His Holiness the Dalai Lama. I was reading through it attempting to calm myself and understand within myself that a treadmill in the 'studio' is a small thing and I can make of it what I wish. I read on and quickly realised that who i really was-at that moment- was a bitch. An irate one at that.
Decisively I get out of my warm rumpled Egyptian cotton. My forty year old feet meet - middle-of-winter floorboards. I band my hair back -clip the fly-aways down and dressed, I start the day.
I open the studio side doors so I can push the easel out onto the deck, followed by the second easel and the trestle table and paintings on hardwood. I replace them with the treadmill, put my paints and pencils in their tool boxes and put everything away.
I have realised that labelling the area as 'my studio' does not make it so. I cannot get there to paint (sounds ridiculous). It is a great source of frustration to me. The fact that I cannot cede even the fifteen minutes i need to get into the 'flow'-generates anger. And I don't want to be angry (it turns me into a screechy unreasonable bitch-Mother) There fore the dismantling of the 'studio' is a good idea. Its for 'the good of the family'.

After the discombobulating of said studio, I whisked the kids into the car and to Palmer's garden center cafe where they swallowed three 'bratz' fruit juices, and three gaudy coloured, heavily festooned chocolate cupcakes. I had a soy chai latte, (twenty three dollars later...not kidding).
On sending them to the centers playground, I wandered around looking and trying to remember exactly what it was the garden-in-waiting needed. Hmmmm. So. I bought one ten kilo bag of organic gypsum, one ten kilo bag of lucern and peat pellets for conditioning the soil, a pair of gardening gloves,four packets of sweet pea's (the kids chose). Then swiftly to the hardware shop where i bought a spade (!!), then to commonsense-organics where i spent one hundred dollars on canned tomatoes, chocolate, salt, a sprouter, sprouts-to-be, milk, olive oil, peanut butter, honey etc. Homeward bound. I rather quickly built a new no-dig-garden. A layer of newspaper, water, a layer of compost, newspaper, a layer of lucern pellets, water, cardboard, water, composted leaves. I built this up to the height of two bricks, in the rough shape of a circle. I will leave it till spring. By then it will be beautiful soil, and I will then plant it out to feed my family real food...

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