I'm hunkered down, wrapped in a green blanket, woollen hat, fluffy mismatched socks, two jumpers and track pants. I haven't been out running since last Thursday. But..it's OKAY!- I have a cold.! My excuse is my aching body, and head. Even my feet ache..so i will just let myself get over it. I drugged myself up on Saturday night to go to a neighbours dinner party. There was the promise of good food, and company, and of course, one thing I cant go past-SINGSTAR. So, I had a great time, cold and flu drugs, champagne cocktails chased by cosmopolitans,that had me singing and dancing till 2 in the wee hours. Afterwards, Deane and I dragged ourselves up our 135 stairs, (he much worse for wear). My cold and flu drugs wore off and i couldn't sleep for the ache and cough. Was it worth it? yes. (and NO...I did not spread it around, I caught it from these very friends two weeks beforehand..).
This was the weekend of the Queens birthday, hence an extra day..which was good timing considering illness. (Thanks Ma'am!)
I re-read my first post regarding the goals I was on the way to accomplishing. I no longer am sure about becoming competent in white water. The further I am removed from the kayak section of the COAST TO COAST race, the more terrified i am of the thought of getting into that water again. I keep asking myself, why the bleep would i put myself in that position again? I mean, isn't it common knowledge that you must do what you love to therefore have success and happiness. I don't 'love' kayaking white water. My fear rattles my mind. However-I want to complete the C2C and the kayak section is key. I will keep churning.
I am reading ebooks and articles and slow books on MANIFESTING. The phrases that seem to attach to me are about the importance of knowing what you want from your life. They talk about priority lists, which help identify your goals and find ways to take action. They talk about things you have a natural affinity for as being the things your should pay attention to. They say" Make a commitment to follow your gifts and talents , let them guide you. Don't let anybody tell you what you should do".
I find it heartening. I don't have to be an accountant or Doctor or computer programmer after all.